Catching Hell Page 4

  I left out the part where the sneaky demon had escaped. The last thing I needed was Lacey rubbing my failed capture attempt in my face. It would add insult to whatever injury the boss had in store for me when he found out.

  I pulled my knife out of its sheath and waved it in front of Mara to keep her at bay. It glowed with a pale-red light appropriate for the power level of a succubus. Thank goodness, or maybe badness, for small favors. I had no idea what was up with the blue and purple I’d seen earlier, but for now, it seemed to be functioning properly.

  I didn’t want to jab it into Mara, but if she kept staring at my lips, I might have to give her a little slice to incapacitate her.

  “You made out with a succubus?” Lacey asked, awe evident in her voice, along with a hint of jealousy.

  Mara started stroking my hair while whispering sweet nothings in my other ear. Damn, she must be desperate to get so close to me in my smelly state. I pushed her away and smacked her hand lightly with the flat of the blade, making her whimper.

  Glad she didn’t have the strength left to morph into my ex again.

  “Um, yeah.” I put more distance between myself and Mara while keeping an ear and eye out for the approaching ambulance. “She’s still with me, and she’s really hungry. If we don’t get out of here soon, she might eat the paramedics when they get here to pick up the human host.”

  Lacey snorted. “Not my problem. You really need to get a car locator app.”

  “I did not lose my car.” I knew exactly where it was. I’d left it parked on Commerce Street. Or was it at the state capitol? Farmer’s Market? Maybe I did need an app.

  “Why would I let you in my car after you’ve been dumpster diving?” Lacey was clearly not on board with the urgent extraction operation of Jinx McGee and her not-so-trusty succubus sidekick.

  “I wasn’t dumpster diving,” I said, huffing while I tugged a greasy lock of hair out of my face. “Hannah dropped me in there. I think she’s mad at me.”

  “Of course she is. You’re good at making demons mad. And people. Animals too. I bet puppies don’t even like you.”

  If she only knew. Presumably, Hannah went off to brood after dumping me in the trash. I had no idea why she was pissed. She’d let the demon go, not me. This mission fail was on her.

  And why hadn’t she escaped when she’d had the chance?

  “Hello? Earth to Jinx? You’re a little off tonight.” I heard a thwack and envisioned Lacey smacking her head with feigned disbelief. “Wait, what am I thinking? You’re always off. Off-kilter, off your rocker, and don’t even get me started on how you sing off-key whenever we’re on stakeouts.”

  I grumbled, Lacey’s insults distracting me from my own brooding. “Whatever. I’m a big hit at parties. Anyway, aside from being in imminent danger of consumption by a raging succubus, I’ve got a major incident report to file at HQ. The boss sent me after the wrong mark.”

  Lacey sucked in a deep breath. I’d shocked her, apparently, by casting doubt on the boss. She was in awe of the guy. Ah, to be young. Also, she clearly hadn’t been listening to me earlier when I said the boss didn’t tell me about the sneaky demon.

  “The boss doesn’t make mistakes, and technically he sent us on this assignment.”

  “And you didn’t show. Since you ditched me, you’re welcome to the paperwork.” Score one for Jinx.

  I cut her off before she could launch into a tirade. “And in any other situation, I’d agree with you about the boss. But Murkowski was already demon possessed. The succubus was a decoy. The demon in Murkowski was looking for me specifically. He almost yanked Hannah out of me.”

  “Why would he do that?” she asked.

  “Dunno,” I said, the distant sirens growing closer making my stomach twist. “Something about joining an army of darkness.”

  “If I had a quarter for every time I heard that one.” Lacey giggled. Her sense of humor almost made up for her shenanigans.

  “I know, right? Oh, and apparently, I’m important. Important enough to be a ‘who’ and a ‘what.’” I wished the sneaky demon had given me a little more information about that.

  Hey, Hannah, got anything on that?

  My personal demon didn’t deign to respond.

  “Yeah, you’re something,” Lacey said. Going by her tone, I probably didn’t want to know her theories on what I was.

  “Oh, and Murkowski’s demon said that I didn’t know what I carried within me. I assume he meant Hannah, but what did he mean by that?”

  “Maybe he knows what kind of demon Hannah is,” Lacey said. “No one this side of the hell realm has been able to identify your demon. Ask him when you interrogate him.”

  Yeah. I’d have to have the demon in my possession before I could ask him, but I wasn’t telling Lacey that.

  “So about that ride…” I had to convince Lacey to get her ass—and more importantly, her car—to our location before the paramedics arrived and before Mara took a bite out of my soul, and possibly my person. Time was wasting.

  Lacey heaved a deep sigh—the one that conveyed a level of bored disdain that was a trademark of her generation. I didn’t have any dirt on her, which meant blackmail was out, and I didn’t have anything she wanted.

  Something flashed in my periphery at dizzying speed. I stood up—too fast, apparently, since my knees cracked loud enough to startle Mara—and put myself in the path of whatever the threat was, my knife at the ready.

  It blazed red. Another demon.

  Out of the shadows, a tall figure in a dark hoodie emerged holding a jar filled with mist, swirling like a miniature tornado. I couldn’t see the hooded man’s face, but I recognized the jar as demon realm in origin, and what was inside as an immaterial demon. It was Murkowski’s demon, the one Hannah had let get away, only to be recaptured by a demon hunter I didn’t recognize.

  A deep voice laced with humor spoke. “Looking for this?”

  I was about to ask who the hell he was when headlights flooded the alley with blinding white light. I turned, squinting to save my night vision while trying to figure out if the vehicle’s driver was friend or foe.

  After my eyes adjusted, I realized it was Lacey’s car. My chariot had arrived at last, but in keeping with her MO, Lacey had the worst timing.

  When I turned back, the jar holding Murkowski’s demon was resting on the dirty asphalt, but the stranger who’d been holding it was gone. Attached to it was a note. Elegant script flowed across what looked like parchment paper.

  Meet you at headquarters.

  Chapter Six

  I squirmed in the back seat of Lacey’s car, knowing we were being followed by the unknown demon hunter who’d bagged Murkowski’s demon. Whoever he was, I owed him, since I wouldn’t have to tell the boss we’d lost the demon. But I didn’t like it. Demon hunters were territorial, and we rarely trusted hunters outside our personal teams. And since he’d left the demon for me rather than claiming it for himself, he’d want something in from me in return.

  Something told me I wouldn’t like it.

  I tapped the glass, which made the demon within swirl faster and emit a scream that hurt my ears.

  “Stop it!” Lacey said, wincing and gripping the steering wheel tighter. “I already have a headache from your stink. That scream is making my ears bleed.”

  Right. I had more pressing matters, like what was up with my incommunicado personal demon. Hannah still wouldn’t answer me when I called for her. I could’ve used the black mirror to force her out, but maybe this situation called for diplomacy. I’d have to give her some time to get over being mad and then hope she’d tell me why. Or get over it.

  She’d come out again when she was hungry.

  Unless…had Murkowski’s attack injured her? Maybe she was traumatized.

  I’d have to deal with Hannah later. Right now, I had to confront the boss about this FUBAR mission and take care of Mara. The succubus had enjoyed a three-course rabid gremlin meal, and I’d promised Lacey a cheeseburger kiddi
e meal after I cleaned up.

  In the meantime, I needed some intel. I shifted in the seat Lacey had insisted on covering in a thick plastic tarp—I didn’t blame her, since it would be a crime to mar the perfection of her Mustang’s leather interior—and dialed my favorite roommate, Boice, aka the hell realm’s number one tech demon.

  Of course, if you asked his brother, Roice, he’d tell you he was the number one tech demon and my favorite roomie. Guys were so competitive. The twins were pains in my ass but worth every penny the boss paid them when it came to intel gathering, research, financial planning, and all-around best buddying.

  In exchange for these invaluable services, I gave them a pass on rent and let them cook for me while I enthralled them with fascinating tales of my exploits as a demon hunter on the mean streets of Nashville. They were demon hunters, too, but I did more fieldwork and was therefore way cooler. They were better at paperwork, research, and making mischief and mayhem online. Our arrangement worked beautifully.

  I also pretended not to know about all the time they spent on PornWeb. We all needed hobbies.

  “What do you need?” The surly male voice on the line managed to infuse both seriousness and boredom into the question. Boice was all business. He needed to get out more.

  “A million dollars and a trip to Tahiti would be nice,” I offered, picking more bits of nastiness off my tank top. “But I’ll settle for a favor. I need you to find out which hospital Jack Murkowski’s been admitted to and make sure his medical costs are covered.”

  “Murkowski. Got it. What if he’s insured?”

  “Transfer enough to cover his deductible and missed work.”

  The sound of lithe fingers clicking across the keyboard let me know my roomie was on it. The deep sigh let me know he disapproved.

  “You’re a big softy,” Boice said.

  “My money, my business.” I calculated how much this little mishap was likely to set me back. At this rate, I’d never be able to retire from the demon-hunting mafia to live it up in the style to which I would like to become accustomed.

  I totally needed a sugar daddy.

  He grunted. “If you keep this up, you’ll have no money left to eat, let alone retire.”

  “Whatever,” I scoffed. “Just remember, the longer I work as a demon hunter, the longer you and your bro get to live rent free.”

  “True,” he said. “Anything else?” The steady stream of keyboard clicks continued. That demon could type. I hoped he was typing up my field reports instead of writing fanfic. Boice had a thing for slash.

  “Actually, there is.” Given the nature of the encounter, I was far from done with this case. I needed to find out how a powerful, immaterial demon infiltrated both the earth realm and its host undetected. Getting more information on the host would help. “See what you else can dig up on Murkowski—his business dealings, vices, associates, you know, the usual. The file I got from the boss left out a lot of details. Aside from the bio, it just said the guy was marked by a demon, but that was apparently a ruse planned by the sneaky demon who was possessing him.”

  Boice uttered a startled grunt, as if he’d been punched in the gut. Uh-oh. This might be worse than I thought. When he recovered enough to speak again, he asked, “What kind of demon?”

  I looked at my jar full of demon, wishing I had more to go on. I’d been trying to engage Hannah since we got in the car, but no luck. If she had some extra intel on the demon, she wasn’t sharing.

  “Immaterial. Not a tempter, at least not one that I’ve ever tangoed with in the field. He’s powerful too.” I shuddered at the memory. “Powerful enough to almost nab Hannah before he got away.”

  “Definitely an unauthorized demon. No summoner would let one that powerful pass through the portals. You said he tried to take Hannah?” Boice asked between clicks. “And you let him go?”

  “I didn’t let him go, Hannah did. Lucky for me, another demon hunter handed him to me in a magical mason jar. I didn’t know the boss hired a newbie, and I had no idea a demon could take my demon out of me against our wills.”

  “No new hires. Maybe someone from another jurisdiction?” Boice kept typing, bless him. Such a good little minion. “As far as Hannah, it’s tricky to forcibly evict a demon of Hannah’s strength and caliber, but not unheard of if you have the right tools, enough power, and know the proper incantations,” he replied coolly. “But your demon is unique. She’s tethered to you and doesn’t seem to follow the normal rules of possession. And since she’s been attached to you for so long, summoning her out of your body would probably kill you.”

  I could almost hear his unspoken like-I’ve-told-you-a-million-times.

  I shook off that happy thought and focused on the more immediate issue. “That’s just it. He didn’t summon Hannah. He pulled her out of me physically, or metaphysically. Not sure. But it was like he was on the verge of ripping her out of me—literally.”

  The clicking stopped, and there was a long pause. I hated uncomfortable silences. Fortunately, he spoke before I could get too squirmy. “What else?”

  I leaned a little to the right as I gathered my thoughts, reaching down to remove a gelatinous mass that had detached itself from my tank top and was now stuck to the plastic covering my seat. I used the wet wipes Lacey had given me to get its remnants off my fingers.

  “He used a succubus to lure me into the alley. Pretended to be an ordinary human about to lose his soul to her. He didn’t seem to think taking Hannah would kill me. Come to think of it, he said I’d be going along for the ride to the hell realm. Even asked for me by name.”

  My mind raced with the implications. I knew most eviction attempts for long-term demonic possessions didn’t end well for the host, which was one reason why the boss had never tried to summon Hannah. But what if there was a way to get Hannah out of me safely? Had the boss been holding out?

  “Why would an unauthorized demon want you?”

  I didn’t care for Boice’s tone or incredulity. “Aside from the fact that I’m awesome, he said a general in charge of an army of darkness wanted me. Does the hell realm have a draft?”

  More silence. Not good. A draft seemed so official. Sure, I could fight, but I was more soldier of fortune than loyal warrior ready to give her all for a cause. Unless the cause involved world peace and free donuts, but only if they were fresh and glazed with chocolate. The donuts, not world peace.

  Then again, chocolate glaze could very well be the key to world peace.

  Boice’s irritation brought me back to attention.

  “Some hell realm militias are filled with conscripts, and their recruiting methods are a bit more…forceful than those used in the earth dimension in this era,” he said carefully. “Your realm has a particularly nasty history of forced military service. Don’t even get me started on the celestial realm’s military system.”

  Good grief, demons could be so touchy about their reputation, mostly because the bad apples from their realm had been immortalized in myths, legends, and holy texts on earth, striking fear into the hearts of humans since the beginning of recorded history. I’d have to remember to be more culturally sensitive around Boice.

  Nah. Needling him was so much more fun.

  “Well, I’m definitely not militia material. I’m not joining any armies in the hell realm, the celestial realm, or anywhere else.”

  “You’re a highly skilled demon tracker with lethal powers,” he said.

  “So?” I countered. “What if I don’t like the uniform?”

  “You wear camo pants, and your black mirror hangs around your neck like a dog tag,” he added helpfully and resumed his furious typing.

  “But they won’t let me wear neon camo,” I said, getting back to the important issue. “And my rhinestone and rose Doc Martens aren’t regulation in any dimension. I won’t go anywhere without them. They’re my secret weapons.”

  He sighed, loudly. I was totally winning the argument. He was obviously frustrated with my mastery of the
art of debate. “Do you actually wear neon camo? That blends in exactly nowhere.”

  I scoffed, going in for the kill. “Says you. I’m a stealthy ninja in Vegas.”

  We’d reached headquarters by then. The imposing glass-and-steel monstrosities towering over downtown cast a long shadow on our more modest brick-and-mortar center of operations. Low profile was our motto. I’d voted for “Don’t Let Your Demons Get You Down,” but management had not approved. They hadn’t approved Taco and Tequila Tuesday, either. Clearly, the bureaucracy was stifling my creative genius along with office morale.

  “Right. Moving on. An unauthorized, powerful demon managed to sneak past portal security, possess a human, subdue a succubus, and wants to rip out your demon and recruit you to fight in a rebellion.” Boice was good at summaries. “Anything else?”

  “This other hunter. He’s following us back to HQ.”

  “Aren’t you just the belle of the ball? I’ll check the roster for demon-hunting assignments from all regional jurisdictions, but you didn’t give me much of a description. Roice can search recent reports for anything out of the ordinary with demon crossings when he gets back from grabbing takeout. Maybe we can track down which portal your demon used.”

  “Can you get something for Mara too? She’ll need to crash with us for a while.” I carefully extracted my foul person from Lacey’s car. Wasting no time, she popped the trunk and replaced the plastic seat cover with an impressive assortment of Christmas tree–shaped air fresheners.

  I mouthed “sorry” before turning my attention back to the phone. “Let me know as soon as you find anything interesting.”

  “A succubus as a roommate? Talk about making me an offer I can’t refuse. Have fun with the boss,” he said before ending the call, the little bastard. He loved it when someone else got in trouble.